Those Will Be the Best Memories

Freakin David Guetta & Kid Cudi...
I've had this topic on my mind for a while now.  Kind of touched on the subject in a previous post but finally taking the time out of my precious study session (hah) to write since it's been so appropriate as of late.

So there are a plethora of unwritten rules for really random situations from ordering soup from Soup Kitchen International to using a urinal (apparently).  No one explicitly talks about it but everyone just knows the protocol anyway.  So I was curious, is there a universal hook-up etiquette?

Let's start with the definition of a "hook-up."  I suppose it may vary slightly, but to my understanding, a hook-up can range from kissing to anything before fully having sex.  It must be spontaneous or irregular and include very minimal talking.  Personality exploration implies date.

There are 2 types of hook-ups.  The party hook-up (self-explanatory) and the fun buddy. Once the latter progresses to actual sex, they are no longer considered hook-ups.  They've moved into the eff buddy zone and that's a whole other ball park I'd prefer to steer clear from.

To state the obvious, the hook up tends to be assisted by alcohol.  It can last just one kiss, the entire night, or occur between multiple different people, depending on the sleaziness of the parties involved.

From what I can extrapolate from observation and experience, the night of the hook-up is pretty unreal.  All of a sudden you're kissing a random stranger and you're oddly okay with that.  In fact, you're more than okay with it.  You encourage it.  At least, for that night.  The aftermath is the most interesting part of a hook-up, I think.

It's quite easy for a hook-up to escalate to sex but both parties might not be okay with that which might make for an awkward situation.  Best policy is to state that explicitly I think.

So now if both people are on the same page... no sex, no strings attached, just lip action, then you're both in the clear.  That is the epitome of a good hook-up.  It's conveying that information that can get a little sticky.

If there does happen to be some probing...not that kind you sicko.  Personality probing...one or both people might want/expect the hook-up to elevate to the next level.  Cool if both do.  Crap if only one does.  Oh and double crap if you will see this person afterward on a regular basis.

Now we enter the weird chasing/avoidance stage.  Both people will be looking out for the other.  But while Person A will be hoping to see Person B, Person B will be looking to get the hell out Person A's peripherals.  Neither will approach the other and just let their thoughts form crazy assumptions.

So is that alcohol-induced night of amusement worth all the awkwardness and headache?  Personally, I just love awkwardness and ibuprofen.  But to make it easier on all of us, maybe we should establish some inherent rules.  Some might already be in place via common sense but I've noticed that most people are lacking a bit in that area.

Ceebs writing them now though.

Best Acquaintance Forever?

This is probably not the best time to be writing since I should be studying for my exam tomorrow morning but when has that ever stopped me right?  You can't really get much more bad-ass than this right here.

All procrastination aside, I really just need to present a complaint.

So facebook.  I love facebook.  You love facebook.  He/she/it loves facebook.  It's an undeniable truth.  We just can't get enough of its time-wasting, stalker-y, goodness.  Except for now.

As a compulsive facebook checker, I was just clicking through my normal routine -- scrollin down the news feed.  Then all of a sudden...pop.  An IM from an acquaintance I haven't seen/talked to in years.  Now normally I would embrace the opportunity to postpone my anatomy reading but I was actually looking forward to getting back to the 3 grades of ligament injury.  Plus, this acquaintance wasn't exactly someone I found particularly entertaining, as terrible as that sounds.

We begin with the normal "Hey!  How are you???" -- all the exaggerated punctuation marks included  (thank goodness genuine emotion can be easily concealed through the wonders of the interwebs).  She then proceeds to ask me about school so I respond with the whole Australia schpeal.  Then she hooks me into asking about her life (which I would have done out of courtesy anyway) by dropping the casual "I'm going to be switching schools too."  So I reply with the obligatory "oh really? where to?"

Now here's the part I was not prepared for.  She writes a lengthy paragraph on this crazy story about auditioning for this awesome music festival (which I've never heard of), then meeting some famous musician (who I've never heard of), and getting a full scholarship to this ivy league school (that I've never heard of).  Now don't get me wrong, it was clearly a ridiculous experience which I'm undermining by my sarcastic side comments.  But I really am happy for her.  It's just that after I commended her for this achievement, she said she had to go and then signed off.

The more I write about this event, the more I feel like an asshole.  But to get my point across, it just felt as if she contacted me to update me about her awesome life.  It was like a reminder saying, "Hey, remember me from high school?  You probably didn't think much of me then but here I am, doing great things.  You should be jealous.  And definitely not forget about me now."

So if that was the message, I received it loud and clear.  Obviously it made that much of an impact for me to stop everything and write about it.

And if not, then obviously I'm a jerk who just can't appreciate a brief, friendly chitchat.

This will make you think twice about ever IMing me again, eh?

Familiar Faces

When you're in a new setting with new names and new faces, the typical tendency would be to absorb as much as you can until things become more familiar.  You meet as many people as you can and befriend those you don't scare away.  Soon you have a reasonable group of friends or acquaintances.  But there are always those elusive few who you either see all the time and haven't actually met yet or never see (or notice) and thus, don't really know about.  Something about those familiar strangers -- maybe their abnormal height or really 80s glasses -- just captures your attention and makes noticing them unavoidable.

So in med, I'm always around the same 300 people.  And though I've made a fair few friends, there are obviously many more that I want to meet.  Here's an excerpt from a conversation I had with a guy I had seen around class but just met recently:

- "Hey what's your name?"

- "Jessica.  And yours?"

- "[random tall guy]. Wait, are you in med too?"

- "Yeah..."

- "Oh that's weird... how come I've never seen you around?"

Now I like to think that I'm a particularly observant person.  With an above average perception level perhaps.  Or at least that's what I tell myself to keep the tears away at night.

But even though it's kind of strange to actually hear that someone you've seen around quite often has never seen (or noticed) you, it's just reality.  What about all those other people you don't actually know about at the moment because you've never noticed them?  It is very likely that they're in the same situation.  Just make sure you don't let the guy who keeps calling your name know that you have absolutely no idea what his is.

Alright, that scenario really wasn't too bad.  Here's another one that involved a friend and a friend of said friend:

Friend: "Hey Jess, this is [random gay guy] and [random gay guy], this is Jess.  Have I introduced you two before?"

[SIMULTANEOUSLY] Me: "Yeah."   RGG: "No."

[awkward stare] Me: "...we met twice before this..."

RGG: "Oh really?  I don't remember..."

Usually I pretend we've never met before if the other person seems to have conveniently forgotten.  But after being introduced to each other twice, I foolishly assumed I would be somewhat imprinted in a person's memory.  It's alright though.  I'm highly observant.  I'm highly observant.  I'm highly observant.  Yeah... that's it.

The Pursuit Of

I find it fascinating how we live our lives seemingly unsatisfied.  This is not to say that we are all inherently ungrateful and malcontent.  But I think it's human nature to constantly want to improve or strive toward something.  I know this is not a unique revelation by any means so please keep hold of those tomatoes please.

It's just that this thought process can be linked to our endless pursuit for "love." Our fear of loneliness drives us all to find "the one" but is it possible to actually prefer the means more than the actual end?

Clearly settling down with only one individual isn't everyone's cup of tea.  But what makes one more inclined to maintain their single status?  Is it age?  Occupation?  Commitment issues?

Being single for a while now, I thought my ultimate goal was to find someone I could develop a serious relationship with.  But I've recently been exposed to the concept of casual relationships. Usually induced by alcohol, they seem to be all the rage in the university realm.  They're exciting and spontaneous and almost always responsibility-free (with the exception of the occasional STD here and there and maybe an accidental pregnancy).  They're convenient mostly because you can satiate your loneliness without the commitment and effort of a real relationship.  And if you enjoy treating the guys/girls you meet like ice cream flavors, then by all means, have at it

Since I do looove ice cream, I have tried this strategy and find that it really is everything it's hyped up to be.  I just don't know if I can stick with it.  For me, it's the best way to feel discontent.  I think the only thing worse than being lonely, is being lulled into a false sense of companionship.  At the moment, when my life has completely shifted hemispheres, I'm just looking for some constancy.

Eureka!

As shocking as this may seem, I believe I have found an answer to my previous question.

In this short week of uni orientation (O Week), I have become quite the alcoholic.  Okay don't get too riled up just yet.  By that, I just mean that I've gone out drinking almost every night.

Seeing as beer is the cheapest drink over here, it has become my beverage of choice whenever we go to bars.  I used to hate the taste and wonder how people could even enjoy it.  But as with durian, caviar, and other seemingly unappealing foods, beer is an acquired taste.  Now, I revel in the smooth, slightly bitter, frothy, fizzy feelings I get from a tall, cold one.

Beer is also the most social drink.  Here, splitting a jug is the cheapest option when going out.  It's also a way to meet new people if you all split one or offer to buy one for the table.  And even though I don't particularly advocate the standard of buying a girl a drink if you're interested, it is the most casual and affordable option.

I know people complain about how filling it is and the copious amounts one needs to consume to get drunk, but both those grievances are actually solutions to my problems.  Since it's filling, I pace myself really well.  And even chugging it won't leave me in the side of an alley spewing my intestines out.

Despite my frequency of drinking this whole week, I never felt sick.  I was perfectly buzzed, maybe a little bit more.  But every time was enjoyable.  And beer helped me limit myself.  So for that, my liver thanks me.

Thirsty?

Last night I went out with my cousin and his roommate to this restaurant called Long Grain which is the best Thai restaurant in Australia.  It's really upscale and super expensive.  But my cousin's roommate is a chef there so we got a discount and some free food which is always nice.  In addition to my meal, I also had some alcohol to wash it down.  A glass of wine and a vodka/gin/Pimms cocktail.  Why?  Good question.  Let's try to answer that, shall we?

Taste.  Who doesn't love a good isopropyl flavoring?  Although my cocktail contained various juices and kiwi vodka, the alcohol taste was still quite apparent.  The wine was quite fruity as well but there was still that uncomfortable burning sensation at the swallow which most drinkers revel in for some reason.

The price.  Since it's expensive, it must be good right?  I dished out $16 for my cocktail and didn't even pay for the wine since it was a bottle but since it was a bottle, I'm sure you can do the math.

The after-effects.  Blurry vision, impaired motor skills, and fever-like symptoms are always my goal.  Sure, the buzz is interesting for a while.  But since I lack the enzyme which breaks down the alcohol, I get burning hot and red in the face.  I can feel every heart beat in my chest at the pace of a marathon runner.  Then after a while, I get dizzy and nauseous and dehydrated.  My only cure is to lie down and eventually pass out.

So why you ask?  I'll let you know when I find out.

Pushover? If You Say So.

So I noticed just now--like this second--that for some reason, if I hear important information that I don't understand right away, I just nod and say "right" or go with the mhmm.  In that moment, I just figure that I'll replay and process the information later.  Why do I do this?  It makes my life so much harder because I don't process it later since I don't know what was even said!

Example:  Looking at houses today, I always ask how far the store is for groceries.  And I always get a really nice, detailed response but do I actually know where I can get groceries now?  That would be a negative.

Part of this habit stems from my lack of assertiveness.  Not that I'm a wet sponge (is that even the right metaphor?) because I will let someone know if they're stepping on my foot.  Heck, I'll even go out on a limb and ask for directions when I'm lost.  But for the most part, I just feel bad inconveniencing people.  I don't like to ask too many questions.  A flaw in my personality I suppose.  I'm just a people-pleaser.

Oh and just to be clear, for now this blog will focus more on my random thoughts or observations of the day.  If you're REALLY curious about the nitty gritty of my life (doubt it), I'll be documenting more of my personal encounters in http://think-happyness.livejournal.com.  But yeah, I wouldn't waste my time either.